Now let’s start by me ranting about this guy.
This guy has a funny nose and a funny explanation of everything. He wears Jerseys with a Mosee imprint on every hangout we go. He is a football fanatic.
Roysambu is not that far from Nairobi arboretum. It just takes this guy’s jersey, a pair of Nike sport shoes and the Kalenjin adrenaline. The problem is that he knows where arboretum is but for his nerves to explain that to himself…
I get to town, call this guy and he tells me the group are in UoN. I rush to UoN and he tells me they are walking past University Way. I get confused as I reach the Uhuru – University Way junction. I call this guy again and ask them if they are using the Kileleshwa route in which with no fear nor doubt replies yes.
I walk almost to Chiromo and call this guy again asking them if they are already past the Museums or the fly over and he asks me jokingly what is wrong with me. He tells me they are past the UoN hostels. While walking alone I was deep in fantasy about shooting zombies. The good thing is that I imagined him being one so we were even.
I run back to the junction jogged along University Way trying to spot any of our modern cabs, a motorbike and luckily I took one. I saw people in groups walking split like a centipede that just had an accident with our Mosee guy’s shoes. Not a Nike this time but a Maasai’s firestone, designed for all weather terrain. (And BTW this metrology department guys should be fired, I bought those shoes to brace the El-Nino)
I get to these guys carrying bags loaded with cameras and lenses but no food. Not even water. The Mosee guy was nowhere to be seen and I just SMH. This was a #KkrewBSPhotoshoot and we were shooting winners of the #KkrewBsSelfieChallenge that happened across our and Pages. (You are very welcomed for our Bible Study that happens every Tuesday as from 5.30pm at Nairobi Cinema) I thought this day was going to suck as people had not broken the ice yet.
We got to know each other and did a prayer before the shoot started. Let me cut the history and start the story. A picture is worth a thousand words to a reader, a good picture is worth a billion words for a photographer.
Omera did I mention that we had to climb on that table so that we can know who owns what?
FYI the guy in shorts doesn’t own all those lenses! We put him there because of his hair. (Wow, that rhymes)
Now, boys will always be boys. The shoot has not started but he will have those photographers pickup line, “How will you get the selfies that we took with my phone?” And he will cross his fingers waiting for her number!
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It is then that he sees me with a camera and he goes like, “Brother, give me a nice shot here.” And he goes for those photography terms to show his maestro, “Give me a good exposure men! What’s your ISO?” And am there smiling behind the lens. This guy calls himself iSteeve. Don’t know if he is into Mac’s or he thinks he is a robot. But he looks like a human android! Only that he has not upgraded to the latest version.
I swear Mosee will kill me by now. Let me not say much. He calls himself Yule Mosee. He needs to hang out with iSteeve maybe he will change to iMosee. No! Senseless.
So this guy, like an army commander inspecting recruits, he decides to inspect Loraine teeth to see if she is fit as a new recruit!
It was my turn to teach these guys how to handle this thing like men. How to be a gentleman. Any man reading this post don’t forget to attend my masterclass Gentleman 101
I taught these guys that you have to be serious with this thing. You have to pretend you are not there and you are there. (haha I don’t think I make sense)
My boys were now jealous because they are full of abs and I have this tummy that looks like dough. I told them the next thing is to complement her dress. Then shoes. And finally…
Hi Juinot Diaz? Have you read Juinot Siloma’s book on ‘This is how you win her?’ For those who don’t know who Juinot Diaz is (like my boys) GOOGLE! Nkt!
And the rest copy cats followed suit. Maan am an inspiration!
Loraine was not just the center of attraction but the center of a marathon! I was about to put a poster around the shoot area “HYENAS CROSSING!”
And love was in the air! Until Saiyanet did this…
You never noticed that the emoji uses the left hand! This is how you fail exams! And blame it on El-nino. It was then that people started failing exams by failing in their marriages.
And a scuffle ensued…
And while this was going on, someone was busy taking advantage. Wish I put my warning hyena sign on!
Miss Wayodi poses with Frank! I sincerely have got no words! But am wondering who would tell the other to do dishes…
It’s true, Mwanaume ni Effort, This guy has veins all over from a single shot. What if he were me? A gentleman? 🙂
So Miss Wayodi was now the center of not marathon this time but decathlon.
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Since these guys has copied my moves I took the ‘Mwanaume ni Effort’ guy to test his limits and my skills in photography! She tagged Saiyanet along and we started with this shot.
I fired Sayianet! For the first time I felt like a boss as I was lecturing Judah not to jump like a seizure. I told him my goats at home could do better. He got me this.
He was so happy when he previewed the shot and I told him crap! That’s so common and girlish. I needed something more creative.
I almost hit him hard on the head with a hammer. (My alliteration is on point) That was the most girlish thing I have ever seen. I gave him an idea and he nailed it with the hammer I was to hit his head with!
I was still unsatisfied because I had stole this concept from a friend of mine called Sam. Sorry Sam you have not patented this. I thought of my childhood and remembered Bruce Lee!
And I jump too to celebrate my shot!
I have to cover up for my fired model so I shoot this to show Saiyanet that we are still in terms.
And now I go to the selected shoots.
Frankly, I could not remember this guys name. But I could remember my shoots
A selfless shot is a group photo. A selfish photo is a selfie. A single human shot is a portrait. A ground shot is a groundie. A jump shot (not in the NBA) is a jumpie. What to we call a tree shot? Treeie? Come back Ludwig Krapf! We need you ASAP! We’ve RIP English.
That party cup though. “I need water, my face needs to look smooth on the photo!” SMH
Loraine smiles
And she does that more…
Miss Wayodi follows suit
Talk about long distance friendship!
This tree had no ants, I assure you that. Book me a photoshoot because I have mastered all the ants on these trees!!!
Miss Dee Poses on this beautiful tree. I know trees are not beautiful. I lacked descriptive words.
We decide to roll it up now. We are hungry and dehydrated. They say a man thinks best when hungry, I say no. A man proposes best when he is hungry
And it was time to wrap it up!
And since this photo was too hot for me. I photobombed. Iko nini?
Then we decided to take one group photo and call it a day.
Am sun scorched, hungry and dehydrated by doing these shoots and some people in which I will categorize in ‘Others’ ask for shots. They are neither models not contestants. Just small bugs on your neck. (I didn’t mean it guys, #SorryILied)
I love this girl. She heads the Kkrew Bible Study Media Team. She is a true leader and has this big heart that I wonder how the heaven fits in her chest. Am sorry I categorized you in others, but in this post you are in others? 😀
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This is Ean. He manages the Kkrew BS Facebook page. He really does a GREAT job. He looks high on something! High in Christ? #JesusMan
The guy on the right is Obi. The less said of him the better. The photo will tell you all, a funny guy who made the event as fun as possible.
Before we head to Nairobi Nights, we did some creative shots…
I decide to show my boys what love is all about. How God is love and we should share it freely just as He does with us.. But copy cats wouldn’t want to be left behind
After much copyright infringement we do the shoeie! haha
P.S The guy with very scary toe nails is Mosee
We do the finger star! Or whatever you call this thing.
I told these guys that am going to do a silhouette for the first time and I will not suck in this. Be the judge guys…
And finally this!
We head to Nairobi Nights
Then my students started learning…
Then the bench! Can you spot. Jeff Koinange in the photo?
I really loved how you struggled looking for Jeff Koinange. Okay, can you see the son?
Last But not least. Meet the photographers of the day! They did an amazing job.
Meet my mentor, Brian Umaka
Meet Alexis Sanchez
Meet another mentor iSteeve, from the iVibe Manufacturers!
Guys some months ago you couldn’t tell me that salvation was this fun. That it would be so free and so inspiring to mingle with beautiful people like this. I like what Kkrew is doing in Kenya. I like my journey so far. I love the challenges I go through in life. They are making me. They were breaking me before! No one told me that a family can be your closest workmen in Christ. I just told you. Join us every Tuesday at Nairobi Cinema as from 5.30pm. We will treat you as family simply because you are!
Photo Credits: Me, Brian Umaka, iSteeve, Alexis Sanchez, Yudah Screechie, Obikens & Others!