This is a guest post by Eric Mwangi.
Perhaps the most troubling complication of the youth of this age is the issue to do with the affairs of the heart and the relationships thereof. Not so much as to go deep into intimate relationships, let me focus on the idea of friendship. The dictionary defines a friend as “somebody emotionally close – someone who trusts and is fond of another,” OR “acquaintance – somebody who thinks well of or is in good terms with another.” From these definitions, one thing is for sure; there is a mutual correspondence in regard to interests and likes about the other person. So in essence, if I am not fond of you or if I do not think well of you, there’s a high likelihood that we will NOT be friends – and if that’s the case, well…
But really, if this is the definition the world offers us, what then shall we say about us who are of the royalty of the Kingdom of God? When we sing, “I am a friend of God… He calls me friend,” what exactly do we mean? What standard of friendship are we referring to? Who/what is the reference point?
Last year was a year of important discoveries. It was also a year where a lot of unlearning and uprooting had to take place, from the inside out. It’s an excruciating experience when The Potter decides to break you up and build you again. It’s a lonely experience. Nobody understands – not a single soul – not even you. You never know what’s happening until He’s finished. It’s painful.It’s intimidating yet stabilizing, because of a word He always whispered, “It is well – just let Me.”
I was taken to a lonely place where I struggled with a lot of thoughts; “Do I matter? Am I loved? Who do I love? Who would give up their life for me? Who would I give up my life for?” among many others. It started in family, and I came to realise that I was not ready to lay down my life for any one of them. This is because there was too much hatred and discomfort in my which I blamed on my family members over the years. I had never known happiness in our home. I never looked forward to going back home in the evening – ever! It then went to my friendships and I also realised that my definition of friendship was so contorted and in some way, I took a step back making people feel as though I was side-lining them. I realised that God was speaking into my life, showing me how much He loves me, yet I cannot show the same love to my friends or family. He became the reference point of my life such that if I have to define anything, I’d always look up to Him for a clear definition. He made me see my selfishness and pointed to the darkest places of my heart where I had stored up a lifetime of baggage. It was at this time that the Holy Spirit was convicting me to love my father and focus my gaze on Jesus Christ, the Friend of Sinners. He made me see my wretchedness and His cry as He stretched out His hand to ask me whether I’d allow Him to be my friend. He wanted to change me so that I may know what true friendship is. I had failed, because my definition was that of the world; to be given, I must give, to give I must expect something back.
I became a fool to so many people, even my family members. I stopped complaining. I learned how not to raise a finger at my adversary but to give it up in prayer, in love and with a lot of faith.
Then I saw Jesus Christ giving me peace, even when I gave myself into service, without caring what men would do. The change became so powerful when I finally understood that even though “man is not an island,” friends here on earth are never going to satisfy my desire to feel as if I belong. The Lord broke me to make me see that He is the ultimate builder and repairer of hearts. He makes you will and to do His good will to EVERYONE, without expecting validation from people or for them to sacrifice as much as you do for them. Why? Because He gives you the heart of service – and service is not only serving in church, but feeding the homeless, serving your friends and enemies alike and treating them as you’d want Jesus to treat you. You end up learning how to forgive. You end up shedding all that anger, bitterness and unforgiveness. You acquire the heart of God, which is full of Love, Mercy, Grace and Forgiveness – without expecting the world to understand. You become THE FOOL who thinks of others before himself. You serve. You forgive too much. You love. The world will never understand – you become a FOOL in their eyes. But in the eyes of God, you become great.
Where did His foolishness get Him?The very God of God in human form became a fool for us all, that we may follow in His steps as we are made out to be more like him. His whole life was love. His rebuke came as a result of love. His scorching responses to man’s troubling issues were as a result of love. His concern came from love and the greatest act of love in the history of mankind was His death. In His last moments, as he was ridiculed by the “high and mighty,” and sentenced to death by one who stood face to face with TRUTH, Christ Jesus took the fall for us, becoming obedient – in LOVE – even unto death. In those shameful moments, having been flogged, spat on, shamed, bloody, broken and bruised, He hang on that mercy tree – out of LOVE. He became a fool to the thief on the left. The one on His right understood His foolishness, and was promised paradise, that very day! In His dying moments, He chose to forgive those who cried for His blood, not knowing that He was dying this for them too. His blood is on our hands, yet it’s the same blood that we call for, when we need cleansing. It flows red yet washes white as snow. The blood of the Fool whom we chose to execute without understanding that our salvation lay therein, made Him guilty of slander, homosexuality, murder, debauchery, covetousness, lying and all forms of evils that man invents, day in day out. He was separated from His Father, in His dying moments yet obediently gave up His spirit, saying – IT IS FINISHED!
After making purification for sins,4 He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high.5 4 So He became higher in rank than the angels, just as the name He inherited is superior to theirs.
Friendship for a Christian does not constitute actions that show love only, but an in changing of the heart and a transformation of the mind to understand the Friend of friends and His love for you, even though we’re a sinners. He changes our hearts so that in our friendship to others, Christ becomes the reference point for all our behaviour, responses and interactions. You love like He did, you serve like He did and you give yourself up like He did. This is true friendship, and it’s a VERY PERSONAL walk with Jesus Christ.