I cannot tell you when last I saw Okumba calm. I cannot either tell you the number of times the guy’s mighty hand has trampled on my back but I can tell you the last time he cried like a baby, in fact wailing, rolling on the floor. The guy is a bully, he would slap me every time he sees me; maybe that is his Khoisan form of greeting but let me tell you guys, the God of the impossible never sleeps.
The guy is a cry baby. I remember one time as we were having a media team meeting and we were making a circle, this very tiny girl said let’s make a circle big like Okumba, he cried the day off. I loved it. Okumba matches his name. Just the same way the name seems big and scary, so is he. Okumba is massive, scary face (he should have featured in scary movie series) and loves bullying tiny people like me. He has a weak heart, ladies, tell him he has a sugar rush and he will cry. Tell him happy women’s day because he has mothers a lot (ako na umama sana) and he will wail hitting his head against the wall.
This is the most psyched up guy I have ever met, always joking and happy. He seemed charged, sometimes he overdoes it I would ask myself where his terminals are I disconnect those damn wires but I blame it on the sugar rush. All in all Okumba is a very nice guy, one known to turn many a person’s days of gloom into echoes of sunshine and bliss. (now Okumba pay me for driving such immense traffic). Am seated opposite to this guy and he at first refuses to tell me his #KkrewBsStory thank God of the many chics who insisted with the ‘aki woiye’ phrase and he blurted.
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My name is Okumba Okumba, do not ask me my first name because I have signed an affidavit for the use of these two names. I came to Kkrew in June 2014 with one goal in mind. To become a fisi, A friend of mine had told me ‘budaa… Nairobi Cinema kumewezaa.’ I came to witness this for myself. To my disappointment, the stern faces from the ushers and the very spiritual beauties quenched my thirst to storm out and I did. I expected that this was another hangout fam, we cool men.
On another Tuesday, I found a snaky line on stage and I wouldn’t want to stand behind that old man talking to me about wiring and spirit business at river road so I decided to sneak into KkrewBs and waste sometime as the snake of a line finds those snake eaters of Agta.
In November 2014 , a friend Kamaa introduced me back and urged me to come. Pastor Welly was preaching and I loved the sermon. I loved that this time round I did not come to hunt. Chics were not my mission. I became serious in Feb 2015 and I joined OG (Opportunity Grabbers). I found this guy with some funny nose that would send me encouraging texts every morning and unconsciously they used to impact my life. He used to call him self Yule Mosee. I didn’t know why and so I was asking myself what if the person came nearer to me am I supposed to call him Huyu Mosee or something?
So Njugush announced that there will be a Media Team in place and we pushed him along with some other guys until it was in place. I love how this team has been a family to me and how stupidly got along with this guy called Obi. He actually taught me how to make memes and we started battling each other in the Media Team WhatsApp group as we increased our skills. All I have to say about Obi is, ‘Jina ilikubaliana na tabia.’
I have known what to do life is like in Kkrew. I have amassed genuine friends and my spirituality levels have catapulted into a whole new phase of knowing Christ. Guys, if you ain’t in Kkrew, you are missing a lot. I don’t consider it a church but a home. There’s always a reason to come.
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