We all hear the stories of people who were redeemed from worldly living, whom God called out of sin, with tremendous signs and instructions on what path to follow.
This is not one of those stories, mine is a story of a lost soul, one that once knew its way but somewhere lost its direction and everything started going south.
This is a story of pitch black darkness invaded by light. First it was just a dim light somewhere in the background sought of a candle light that did not seem to have any impact amid the almost tangible darknes.
I knew no God, I knew no savior, at some point I knew Him but I lost Him, erased all the knowledge i had and eventually gave into a depraved mind. I Engaged in all sorts of things, drugs and immorality of all sorts.
My soul was sinking into an abbys of evil and I had no hope of being found.
Like how most humans think, I thought that I will get saved when my time comes. I did not think I would have any role to play in my salvation and that my fate squarely lied on a predestined end. I thought I never had anything to do with my salvation. This was a depraved mind speaking, this was a lost soul seeking.
We all know that every human has this intricate desire to worship and whatever we choose to worship becomes our god. I had chosen to worship lust, money, women, drugs and my body which became my god. Why did I choose this? Why did i choose Depravity over the sanctity of in christ? Could anyone in their right mind choose death over life?
Questions I couldn’t answer circled through my brain limitless times. I remained clueless untiI I came to know God.
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My exeprience was not as extraodinary as I would have it be, my change was achieved through logic and thinking.
Smoking weed at a friend’s house one morning with my lungs aching from all the cigarettes smoked the previous night, my eyes as red as berries soaked on red dye and head throbbing from the hangover from the previous binge drinking, I could not believe this is what my life had come to.
My parents had told me to leave home because they could not take my drama anymore, I had been all alone in the city for almost a year and everyday seemed to be worse than the previous. I had grown thin from too much alcohol and going without food.
That moment my life flashed before my eyes and all that I could see was darkness.
A tear droped from my eye. Like the prodigal son I got to think, ‘What have I done to deserve this?’ ‘What have I done to get here, even in my father’s house I would have lived a much better life than this. I will go back to my fathers house.’
That day looking at the state I was living in, looking at the pain I was going through, seeing all these that was going on around me, i made a concious decision, not necessarily to get saved but to leave what had become my norm and start over again.
In this starting over I met Christ, I met the saviour. It does not start with wanting to get saved but wanting to change!
I needed change and there was where God found me.
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He came to seek and save the lost, I was lost but now I am found.