This is a guest post by Grace Mutanu.
This is a dedication to all the women who have had their hearts broken reminding them that there is still hope of finding love; the great teacher still has a plan.
To the love of my life,
Today I began praying for you and about you very seriously. To be honest I had stopped a while back. Pain, anger, bitterness and unforgiveness had filled my heart such that I had sent you to oblivion. My heart had been broken. I could not understand why I had been faithful to someone only to have them disappoint me after four years of giving all my love.
More than that I was angry at myself for not being patient, for letting someone else enjoy what was meant only for you and for being unfaithful to both you and God. So I lashed out on marriage, an institution I had never experienced yet I loathed with all my heart. I hated the thought of getting married or committing to anyone.
I must say I did you some injustice because I never thought of you when I acted in anger, I never thought of how I was affecting your destiny, I had become selfish. I let my pain speak for me and my fears control me but now I know better. I have learnt to guard my heart with all diligence.
I currently enrolled in God’s school of love. He has taught me how to love me and also how to love you once you come along. I have been, and still am, in his kitchen being refined. I won’t be given to you in a broken, misshapen form because Jehovah is in the business of making me whole.
I have heard it being said that broken crayons still color; but in the hands of a skilled master they cease to be broken. Today, as I began to pray for you, I repented for the times I lost all hope in marriage; God’s special invention. For the times I failed to stay up and pray for the relationship we shall have.
When you come my way, I will have graduated with a PhD in love because I have sat at the feet of the great teacher. I won’t be a bitter, angry, snobbish woman but I will be radiating with love. I will love, honor and respect you for as long as we both shall live. I won’t just be a Proverbs 31 woman, I will be the Proverbs 31 woman that you have been praying for.
With love❤
Mutanu Mulyungi.