This is a guest post by Hayes Njogu.
I am Afraid.
By Hayes Njogu
I feel afraid a lot these days. (“and please do not judge me!”)
I chose a way of life where I have to craft my own role, set my own target, and pave my own path towards it. Surprises always hit me directly in the face, sometimes hard.
James Altucher wrote a beautiful article with a similar message. He said fear and mastery lead to desire; while desire leads to every part of the body feeling more alive, every part of your brain on alert.
I am afraid to make cold call
I’m afraid of talking to stranger (“especially if it’s pretty woman”) and asking for money for the services I could offer. It sounds silly but I still practice a written script before dialing a potential client, praying that someone on the other side will be kind to me. Every single call is like going to a battle. Even though ego hurt at first, when you come back from battle again and again; you expand your capacity to bounce back like a rubber ball every time.
I am afraid that I don’t know where the next pay cheque will come from
No matter how exceptional your product or service is, you have to get out there, talk to people, sell to people, and that is how you create your own reality. I am so afraid of not having business that I am not afraid of having thick skin anymore. (“p.s: I am so broke right know”)
I am afraid when I can’t control everything
I am not superhuman who can do everything. I am afraid when I count on sendy to deliver an expensive machine, supplier to deliver stock on a narrow window. Somehow, I realized that fear is simply my own projection of a future event. I learn to let loose and make a contingency plan. I learn to be more rounded so that people are forgiving when a thing doesn’t go as planned.
SEE ALSO: Will You Be?
I am afraid when to travel alone
Yes! It’s difficult. I’m always afraid before I start a solo journey. I brave myself up to get out and talk to people; to dive into the streets and see what people do. As I adapt and learn, familiarity and openness lessen my fear. I truly appreciate everything that goes right when I get into the flow.
I am afraid to speak in front of a crowd
Been there, done that; and I am still afraid. Every time before I speak, I tell myself a thousand times that I am awesome. I believe that when you care so much about your topic, you speak with the purpose of letting people see what you see and feel how you feel. Our role is not to deliver a perfect speech but an inspiring story that penetrates through people heart. People feel it when you speak from your heart.
I am afraid of losing people I love
The thought of it makes me sad. It came bugging me from time to time, until I learnt how to love and forgive. Sickness and death are natural phenomena, but fear is a choice. We have ‘right now’; and we always have the choice to make the best out of life in every present moment.
I am afraid to write and to write from the heart
It scared me when asked Siloma I could write an article for his blog, I’m afraid of, love, failure, and breakups. It makes me so vulnerable and exposed so much of myself. But I love stories, and I believe that everyone has a unique story that belongs to other people, because we have already lived through our own script. If my story could make one person feel less lonely, if it could inspire one person to make a tiny shift in life; it’s worthwhile to expose all my imperfections.
I stopped being afraid to love
I am not afraid to tell my parents and brothers that I love them, (“mmmmmh! Okay I am still afraid”) I am not afraid of trusting and loving people (“I am; I swear”). The one thing that I stopped being afraid of gives me everything I need when I feel afraid.
Sometimes I do miss security and certainty (“Comfort Zone”) to know what would happen in the future, when it would happen and how it happens. In long run, that would somehow be an epitome of a boring life I reckon?
We need both certainty and uncertainty in life.
I don’t enjoy being afraid of unknown, but we need ‘fight and flight’ trigger to keep us alive. I know that it makes me learn, it forces me to be resourceful, and it builds my resilience.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. I love this amazing quote from Nelson Mandela.
I want to be more like him in life — to be afraid, to be alive, and to triumph over fear time and time again.
I am still afraid,