This is a guest post by Nash.
When all I see is darkness in my life, I get encouraged by a verse in the Bible. Its not easy to see God working through our problems. So often we are blinded by the darkness and our ears can no longer hear God speaking in our situation. 1st Corinthians 10:13 ‘Every test that you have experienced is the kind that normally comes to people. But God keeps his promise, and he will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm; at the time you are put to the test, he will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out.’
This is a verse that encourages me whenever I feel like the tests have gone beyond what I can bear. He will only allow a challenge that He knows you can easily overcome. After giving my life to Christ, I did not stop immediately the little sins as we would like to call them. I had struggles with my self-esteem. Sometimes I would encourage myself by saying that no one is righteous and people who are saved also sin. How can they say that they are righteous? It came with time and soon my addictions stopped; story for another day.
I thought that salvation was a destination. Little did I know that it was a journey. A journey that I could not walk alone but needed Christ to assist me in making everyday steps. I needed friends who would hold on and encourage me with the scripture. I knew Jesus before the salvation thing. I knew him as the person who had supernatural powers. The one who could raise the dead and change water into wine in a wedding at Cana. He was the man I learnt about in Christian Religious Education lessons in school. I did not know him beyond the class lessons. Among my prayer items was that I would grow in Faith and more in love with Him.
ALSO READ: #MyKkrewBSStory: Sir Okumba Okumba
Reading the Bible was quite a challenge. I only got to flip my Bible when I heard of a character in the Bible and wanted to know who the person is. I could read and get a glimpse of what it entails but would not go beyond that. I used to hear people testify of how God spoke to them through the scripture and wonder how they heard Him. I later realized that God spoke in a still, soft voice. I needed to shut down the noise from my environment to hear from Him. The noise that whispered ‘You cannot make it. You are a sinner. We all know what you do in secret. Do not try out that project because you will only fail and embarrass yourself.’ Life came with challenges. It wasn’t easy and sometimes I felt like giving up. Sometimes the pressure became too much and I questioned how God could be working for good in my pain. How could He seek glory in my pain?
Romans 8:28 ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose’.
What lesson was He trying to teach me? I thought there was joy in being in Christ. Everything would work as I wished but I forgot that it was His wish that was to supercede in all circumstances. I wanted things to run my way. I realized that I had already molded my life (clay pot) in my own way. God had to break me down in order to experience His breakthrough. The breakdown process is painful but the breakthrough brings eternal joy.
Things became tough for me. I lost almost everything that I had. A relationship that I had worked hard to maintain but had to let go to let God in. It wasn’t seeking glory for His kingdom. It hurt me a lot but God had His way of giving me comfort. I also had to lose some ‘friends’ who led me astray. Looking for new company wasn’t fun at all. How will the people who are deeply rooted in the Word welcome me to their fun activities? I love places where I get to meet and socialize with people. He gave me what I needed. I acquired friends who have held me. They did not judge my past but welcomed me to their circles.
ALSO READ: Trust
Romans 8:1-2 ‘Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death’. When almost everything was lost, a friend sent me this: Philippians 4:7 And God’s peace, which is far beyond human understanding, will keep your hearts and minds safe in union with Christ Jesus.
Before I changed my lifestyle, I still had challenges but I didn’t care about them. I lived a life with no purpose. I did not care what happened. Waking up was a normal thing to me. Not being in a hospital bed was just a slip from death. I had to start living u purposeful life. I always ask God in prayer not to take me before I have achieved my purpose on earth. If I am to become a mother to for lovely children, may He not take me before I have seen them grow to lovely men and women. If am to become a lawyer, may death not snatch me before I have defended that person who is seeking justice to no avail. Am not perfect but I could say am God’s work-in progress. I do not live righteously but His grace is never ending. Everything I have is by his grace and favor.
2 Corinthians 12:9 (Good News Translation (GNT)
9 But his answer was: My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak.” I am most happy, then, to be proud of my weaknesses, in order to feel the protection of Christ’s power over me’. If we fall into sin His grace to forgive can never run out. Trust in Him completely.
Do not give up because God hasn’t given up on you yet. Jesus Christ died on the cross for us. It wasn’t easy for Him but it was worth it. That you may gain salvation by believing in Him. Salvations is not boring. It comes with joy that is in Christ. Am not a perfect being, but am God’s work in progress. Am seeking to grow more in love with Him each day as it comes.
Naomi Wamuyu,
God’s child